When You’re Lonely for a Friend

Hello there! Meet my friend, Christine Hoover. She’s been with us before and I’m delighted to have her here again. She’s a beautiful soul doing life in Charlottesville, Virginia as she invests in her church and community as a church planter’s wife. She’s delivering some powerful words on friendship as she has just released a book entitled, Messy Beautiful Friendship.

When You’re Lonely for a Friend

The sun shone bright in the kitchen the day I realized I had no one I could call. Standing at the counter, slicing a pear into bite-sized pieces for my 10-month-old firstborn, I’d instead sliced my finger. I stood silent at the sink, letting water wash over the wound and watching blood swirl in the basin. After bandaging my finger, I reached down for my son, placed him in his highchair, spread the pears on his tray, and in what seemed the very next moment, I woke up underneath the kitchen table. I had fainted, and it felt as if my brain was rebooting after being switched off. My body felt clammy and weak, and as I lay there, immobile, my initial panic subsided as I heard the happy gurgles of my boy, safe with his pears.

It was then that the thought intruded: Who will I call to come help me? I did not have an answer, because I did not have a friend. The knife had opened my finger, but it seemed to have opened a far greater wound, a wound I’d tried desperately to ignore, hide, and resist–the wound of loneliness.

At that time, I was a young pastor’s wife, a young mother, and young in my understanding of God’s grace. When I picture myself in those years, I think of myself in two places: in my home and all tangled up in my own head.

After college, I’d waited for friends to appear, as they’d appeared in every other era of my life–through youth group and band and softball teams and housemates. And they in fact hadn’t appeared. I felt as if I’d forgotten how to do friendship and wondered if I was no longer friend-able. In my insecurity, I remained isolated, both in my home and in my head.

I remember hoping another mother would invite me out after morning Bible study. I remember desiring one of the older pastor’s wives to take me under her wing. After my pear-eating boy received a devastating diagnosis, I remember wishing others would intentionally step into my shoes and walk with me, tell me what to do, or care for me in some way.

I was lonely for a friend.

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why can’t life be like downton abbey?

{note: i just confessed in a previous post that this place was going to be stronger and more real! don’t hate me!}

why can’t life be like downton abbey with its glamorous estate set upon acres and miles away from town? with its castle like structure that boasts pride and class and influence?

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why can’t life be like downton abbey where writing correspondence and attending a hospital benefit are the to-do’s for the day?

where you lounge with drinks in the library before sitting down to a feast in the dining room and afterwards go to the sitting room for more drinks.

where a nanny brings your kids to you when you want to see them and where the chaffauer drives you to the station and into town.

oh to have someone brush your hair for you at night and turn down your covers and dress you for dinner!

and oh the dresses for dinner! pure silk and lace and perfectly fit!

to communicate through hand-written letters or make a necessary trip to see someone because life works best when we make time for one another.

to be in an era where lightbulbs are the new thing and so is the telephone and radio.

where a hairdryer baffles the butler, but excites the servant girls.

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does my light matter?

this little light of mine.

i’m going to let it shine.

let it shine. let it shine. let it shine.

harry dixon loes composed this song based on this passage in the Bible:  “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:16)

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in comparison to this great big world {and it’s just getting bigger and i’m just getting smaller the older i become} my light seems minuscule. but i am finding comfort that it is seen and it is seen by the Spirit of the Living God. and that’s a truth for every breathing human being.

so does my light matter?

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mercy ink {celebrating women in may}

celebrating women doing their God-given thing

{for the month of may, i’m highlighting a few women who are gaining confidence in who God has created them to be and displaying it so through different means. for some, it was born out of cause. for others, it was there since birth. and some, it’s the season of life they are in. and they are sharing their stories here this month! join me in celebrating them and that’s not all…they want to celebrate you! a giveaway on each blogpost through the month of may! make sure you leave a comment the day or the day following the post, for that’s what enters you in the drawing. winners will be announced on the following post}   {congrats to Aimee Fair, Stacie Wood and Hannah Hinojosa – winners of a sweet Pearl House gift from the previous post}

welcome lauren mills as we celebrate women in may!

 

Mills Family MERCY iNK

Hello friends! My name is Lauren Mills of MERCY iNK. My pastor hubby and I have been married just about nine years and we have three kiddos at home (ages 3, 5, and 7) and are awaiting the homecoming of our fourth, a 2 year old daughter in Central Africa. (If you’d like, you can read more about our adoption journey here.) We live in the Shenandoah Valley, Virginia.

I am passionate about Jesus, His amazing grace, and His love for the least of these. My heart for my blog is to reflect that grace, advocate for those without a voice, and encourage other believers to step bravely into His awesome work of loving others.

MERCY iNK scripture print

In addition to the blog, MERCY iNK is also an online scripture print and jewelry shop. I design graphic prints for homes, and truth-filled jewelry for women to wear around their hearts. It is a crazy blessing to create art that brings the Word to people. I love what I do!

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