Are you moving, too?
Ugh.
I want to be mad at you. I don’t like that you’re leaving. You were good here. I saw the difference you were making. And when I think about our city, it’s simply a shell right now. Minus you. Offices, restaurants, playgrounds, stores are boarded and taped up. All of life happens at home and even that feels tight...especially for condo and apartment dwellers. At least half of San Francisco’s restaurants are expected to close forever. Maybe this is happening where you live or maybe you’re the lucky ones who are getting my friends plus many more who are moving.
The president of our city’s Small Business Commission, Sharky Laguana, shared in the SF Chronicle this month, “Reality is sinking in, and people are coming to the sad conclusion that it’s not sustainable.” Heather Knight interviewed the owners of 3 Fish Studios who are moving because of the pandemic. When asked how they would describe their life-changing decision, “tortured,” replied Eric Rewitzer. His partner, Annie Galvin said it would be a “quiet, sad goodbye. It’s easier to leave the city because it’s so strange now. It’s not like we could go and hang out...and be with all our neighbors and friends.” (SF Chronicle, August 9, 2020)
For us cityfolk, we’re hearing from our friends every other day who’ve made the hard decision to move away from the city. The reasons are for a less stressful, more affordable, closer-to-family kind of life. I know they’ve wrestled with this longer than I’ve had time to get my mind around them not being here anymore, but still. Has it come to this?
At the start of COVID, we were making temporary decisions to get us through. Now we’re making more permanent decisions as we see this lasting longer than we imagined.
What do we do with the hard?
What do we do with the now?
What do we do with unthinkables?
I’ve asked a few of my friends to get really candid about their decision-making to help me grieve and to encourage all of us who are in transition. I also think it was good for them to process out loud through an email exchange.
Emily says she’s questioned her calling during this season, yet she’s certain her vision from God isn’t fading because of a move.
Margaret admits she’s held too tightly to this city and “that perhaps our hopes, dreams, and ambitions were rooted in something human rather than something holy.” She’s making the move in faith, and not letting other people’s choices be her guiding light.
Carolyn believes she’s got more neighbors to love in her new community outside the city and plans to be active and intentional with her friendships here.
I read what a few other friends have posted and know it’s work-related, finance-related, fatigue-related, and space-related. And my friends are among many in our city making a mass exodus. Here’s proof.
This is not an easy place to live. It's not an easy place to leave. In order to "make it" you have to put blood, sweat, and tears into every step. And with this sort of investment, to move away brings all sorts of emotions.
I realize who we lose in the city, the suburban and rural parts of America will gain. So in a sarcastic tone fighting the tears, you’re welcome. And from the truest part of me, you’re getting the golden from our state.
Here’s what I shared in my email exchange, our sort-of-sad-and-quiet-goodbye:
God calls us to Himself and with that, He puts us places. Places He wants us to invest in and people He sends us to love. I hope you find time to write down the names. The names of those who have dined with you, come into your dwelling spaces, met up at third spaces, ones you've poured into, those who have poured into you. Then as you start with a blank piece of paper in _____, go and do likewise - contribute, give it all your blood, sweat and tears because then you'll grow roots, make friendships, and be a blessing to those God sends you to love.
The very thing that is most painful about a move is that we lose each other by proximity, but the work that you've done in this city, when done in His Name and for His glory, takes root. And that my friend, is the best thing we can leave behind.
For all of us, though,
did the season just become more permanent? In our family where 4 kids are about to start at 4 different schools this week, I cannot NOT look ahead and think we’re in this for the school year. I’ve talked and texted with many of you who are making permanent decisions and gearing up for what’s ahead: jobless days, November elections, the winter season, and more months without a vaccine or viral end in sight.
How then should we live?
The ceiling feels low these days. The spirit of discouragement seems to have more room to roam and the spirit of encouragement seems to run out at about 7:30 am. My creativity only goes so far. My plans for the future slam against restrictions. I’m left with only today.
Isn’t that how we should live?
To live for today? Ben and I have had countless conversations as we are with each other all the time. Our purpose and calling and gifts are still the same. How they are lived out and delivered look different.
I’m called to love this city and make a difference in my neighborhood. God has given me the gift of writing. My purpose is to use my words to encourage the Church, our family, and the people I engage with on a daily basis.
Remember your calling.
Remember your Maker.
Remember today is a gift we don’t get back.
Live today worthy of your calling. (Ephesians 4:1)
Go and be blessed.
I realize we’re not all capable of loving where we live right now. You need care. You need a phone call, a day away, some peace and quiet, time with friends and family, or time to process and grieve. Here’s a prayer you can borrow and keep!
If you’re like me and are saying goodbyes, our family was in this very same space of emotions a year ago and it wasn’t COVID related. Goodbyes are supposed to be hard. Here’s why.
As far as 3 Fish Studios, I plan on stopping by Annie and Eric’s store before they leave and get a print and give my thanks. This while on our annual school prayers walks today.
Moving or staying, we’re called to love wherever we are today! As one of my friends who is moving tells me, be where your feet are…
