discovering your sweet spot

what’s your sweet spot?

here’s my created definition of sweet spot:

that moment in time when you are most happy, most alive, and most satisfied.

when you daily give so much of yourself away, it’s hard to make time for this. plus, right now, it’s taking us a few minutes to clear the cobwebs and look back at the things that make us most satisfied, most alive, most happy.

here me say this: your sweet spots were never intended to go away. 

here are a few of mine:

when writing is flowing/ideas are coming

dipping strawberries in chocolate

curled up on the couch with a blanket watching downton abbey or anne of green gables

conversations with other moms figuring out how to give the most to those around us while staying healthy ourselves

Think of one. Jot one down.

what’s your husband’s sweet spot?

here are few of ben’s:

being on the back deck with the fire pit blazing, chatting. dessert or coffee adds to it.

walking and talking on the streets of san francisco

reading thought-provoking, change-provoking books on leadership

preaching/leading/starting/building

think of one of your husband’s. jot one down.

what are some sweet spots you share together?

Here are a few of ours:

intimacy

trying a new restaurant or venturing back to a favorite

dreaming about our next vacation or next adventure

no agenda saturday mornings

date nights in or out of the house

think of one you share together. jot one down.

3 things to consider:

rediscover a sweet spot.

do not feel guilty for taking time for yourself.

make time for yourself. this might take extra work on the front end. it might take calendaring and communicating well with your husband.

put the obvious in front of you. ex: everything is prepped and ready for later. i love it after i’ve put the kids to bed and ben and i have agreed that tonight’s gonna be a “work” night, when i come upstairs and all my “tools” are sitting out, candle ready to be lit, pandora ready to be played, dishes are done, house is quiet, and i’m ready to write or we’re ready to talk about our next adventure.

Indulge in his sweet spot.

this is a selfless act that reaps benefits.

as wives, we should seek this out weekly or more often.

indulging can be as simple as a question. it can be as simple as looking him in the face when he talks.

one way you indulge is by giving him permission and a push to enjoy his sweet spot.

Plan a sweet spot.

put it on the calendar. write it in your diary. tell a friend to hold you accountable.

examples:

surprise him for lunch during his workday

schedule a date night that YOU plan

mentally know throughout the day that you’re gonna seduce him at bedtime

plan a sweet spot. jot one down. give yourself a deadline or a date.

caution:

check the expiration date.

just like candy, no one wants a sweet at valentines wrapped in a halloween wrapper. in other words, it might be his favorite sweet inside, but he can see how it’s presented. make sure your motives are right. offer freshness.

don’t overindulge.

too much of a good thing can be bad for your health. selfishness can be addictive as we try to please ourselves and want others to please us as well. you and i have the world at our disposal and often can expect too much. moderation is key! personal sweet spots are to be enjoyed in moderation. mani-pedis and childcare daily to run to the grocery store might be a sign of overindulgence.

you might become irresistible. 

if you rediscover your sweet spot, indulge in his, and plan one for the two of you to enjoy, watch out!

enough about sweet spots. i’ve got some indulging and planning to do…

while i’m enjoying the start of the summer with my kids, i’m so glad to bring you  some of my favorite posts. i’ll be back with new and fresh posts in july. but while i’m away, i’ll be instagramming our june stories and replying to any comments here.