When the holidays are sad
Burger King for Christmas: When the holidays are sad
We seemed fine when we made our plans. Our third son was to be born on Christmas Day and the thought of hosting family or traveling to them seemed impossible. We’d be okay, we told ourselves. Our other boys, ages 4 and 2, would keep the magic in the holidays as we would decorate cookies, drive around and look at lights, read Christmas stories, cuddle up and watch movies, and anticipate the joy of smiles and wonder as they woke to new toys and treats on Christmas Day. We’d talk to our families on the phone and send photos and videos to stay connected.
Asher arrived 7 days early. How convenient. It gave us a few days to get settled back into home and have everything ready to go for Christmas Day. Somehow after the previous labor and delivery, I’d forgotten about the recovery and what a week without sleep does to your mental state or lack thereof.
Christmas Day was sad. And that’s the best word we can use. A simple three-letter word. It didn’t deserve a fourth. Toddler boys move at one speed only, despite the efforts to slow and savor the moment. And these two little monkeys were the only ones in the house getting decent sleep anyway.
Presents and stockings were opened in 10 minutes. No one was there to hand off the baby to relish in the surprise of each thoughtful gift, nor could the boys appreciate how mom and dad handled work, snuck in a shopping moment, found time to wrap the gifts, and make sure there was enough in the bank to pay the hospital bills. The innocent comments for more toys about put me over the edge. Until the next thought came.
What were we going to eat? Nothing was prepared. Nothing was in the fridge. That was okay. Ben would strap in these boys who were already over their toys and go pick us up something for lunch. Won’t that be nice? A little peace and quiet with just one at the house made it real that we had entered the “divide and conquer” size of family.
Ben called depleted. The only thing he could find open was Burger King. My ingratitude soared to new heights above my boys. In this state, I’m not even sure we gave thanks for our whoppers as we watched the clock hands tiptoe in circles. Christmas was just sad.
This was 13 years ago. Every time I see a Burger King I give God thanks for humble moments. For our three boys. For money in the bank and for people who make food to give new parents a hand.
It’s been a lot this year for all of us.
Acknowledge the heaviness and sadness for yourself and our world.
My best friend couldn’t be close to her dad as he passed into eternity this spring. Another friend moved south as her granddaughter has been diagnosed with a rare disease. Family friends had no choice but to move out of the city. As we wrote Saddam, our sponsored child through Compassion International, and Grace, our sponsored child through The Pearl House, we were reminded that every person on planet earth has been affected by this pandemic. Just as everyone has experienced sadness and pain, everyone also has a God who sees us and loves us. So how do we bring joy inside? How do we send joy outside?
How to bring joy inside
One simple and intentional step is to recognize that Jesus loves you. He gave Himself for you. He is the Source of Peace, Joy, Hope, and Love. Apart from Him, we are pursuing fakes and counterfeits. And I’ve given that a try and it doesn’t last and certainly doesn’t fulfill. He wants inside your heart and your home. He is outside and knocks. The doorknob is on your side. To let Him in is up to you. Oh, please friend, please do.
How to send joy outside
Maybe your year has been like our year. When we weigh the pros and cons, we have a much longer list of joys and blessings. This is not true for every neighbor and friend. Do something about this disproportionate ratio. And go big! Make someone’s Christmas this year! I’ll give you three ideas. Share more in comments.
Send a restaurant gift card. Bless the business and the friend/neighbor.
Help in their yard. Clean their outside windows. Wash their car. Shovel that snow.
Deliver a Christmas wreath, flowers, or plant.
Host Cocoa in COVID
This is how we’re sending joy outside!
Cocoa in COVID
Our Annual Gift to our Neighbors
As for a sad Christmas
Whatever you think is hard, harder exists somewhere else for someone else. I want to be done comparing my hard and choose to sit in it, sit with someone in theirs, find Christ with us and for us. I see motherhood and parenting and holidays differently because of a sad holiday season. And I don’t know the last time I’ve had Burger King.
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