i hugged them a little tighter at bedtime.

i wasn't satisfied until they locked eyes with me as i declared my love for them.

why does tragedy wake us up? why does breaking news break our hearts?

or better yet, why do i run through the mundane day filled with self, self, and more self? and then am disturbed that the kids can't put their clothes away and i can't get why brushing teeth seems to evoke silliness just before bedtime.

it's tragedy that wakes up this mother's heart. it's that tragedy evokes pains for another mother's heart and wonders why i have one more night with mine. it's a school year filled with tragedy. life cut short for too many little ones.

breaking news does break the heart. this shouldn't have happened! why God? i don't understand. make the evil go away. my head does what my heart feels - a constant shaking of the head. to and fro. to and fro. to and fro.

a young lady tells me today that she doesn't want kids because of the world in which she'd have to raise them. fear. safety. protection. security.

we are not promised safety. security. here on this kingdom earth. yet we are more than covered with God's promises that if we walk in His ways, we will be blessed. not from harm, per say. not from tragedy. not from heartbreak. but the unexplainable reward is that when we live in His love and live out His love to our family, to our community, to our world, we are never more like Him. and when we are like Him, when we mirror Him, we delight in Him and fear no evil.

oh the truth is that in this world we will have troubles. our hearts get beaten down. stop beating. our bodies grow weary. wear down. stop working. but the bliss of knowing this is not the end. oh friend. eternal life awaits those who put their trust in Jesus Christ. yet He bestows hope in the hearts of those who believe while living out life here on kingdom earth. that is what gets me through the tragedy. the breaking news. that's what i pray over for the silly boys at bedtime. that our hearts will trust the God of hope.

these days are few and far between, but when they spontaneously happen, my heart rejoices and replays again and again. nothing magical. nothing expensive. nothing exotic. nothing organized. just a day to observe the olives and how they grow. a day to run through the vineyards. to escape the city life. a day with the kids.

psalm 128

Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways! You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.The Lord bless you from Zion! May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life! May you see your children's children! Peace be upon Israel!

 

for this moment, there is life. my children run and play at school. one will soon join the others there. i know not what tomorrow holds, for this mother is learning that with each breaking news story. but, with each day, i ache to to walk the way of Christ. to fear Him and not the storm, the crazy gunman, the terrorist. to speak life over my children. to point them to God who loves them so.